


Every Time I See Your Face

by KassandraScarlett



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Kid Sam Winchester, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26220580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KassandraScarlett/pseuds/KassandraScarlett
Summary: Based on a Tumblr prompt: After Sam falls into the cage, Dean asks Cas for one more favor. On Dean’s days off, he visits Sam in different time periods, even if only for an hour or two. Sam never tells Dean about these visits.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 11
Kudos: 91





	Every Time I See Your Face

_"I need to see him, Cas. I need to fix at least one thing."_

_"Do you have a date in mind?"_

_"After we came back from Heaven."_

* * *

**Blue Earth, Minnesota, 2010**

The knock on the door made Sam tense. It wouldn't be Dean. And Sam wasn't exactly in the mood to talk to anyone. 

He considered ignoring it. But the knock repeated, hesitant but stubborn. 

With a sigh, Sam stood, opening it to see… Dean. 

He frowned. "What, di-?"

His words petered off. Dean was hugging him without warning, shaking all over, face tucked into Sam's neck. He was mumbling something. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Sammy, I'm-"

"Hey, hey, Dean, hey." Sam pulled them both inside, closing the door. It occurred to him suddenly who he was looking at. "You're not the Dean who walked out the door five minutes ago," he mumbled, thinking about how his brother had slammed the door close with barely a goodbye.

Dean didn't move back. "How'd you know?" He asked. 

Sam smiled sadly. "You've got a different look in your eyes," he evaded. "I just saw you a few months ago at the convent in Ilchester, and you disappeared so fast. I was worried."

Dean barely seemed to bear him. He looked terrible, like he hadn't slept or showered for a few days. "I'm so sorry," he said again, not taking his eyes off Sam. 

Sam frowned, thumbing at the bags under his eyes. Any other time, they'd be making out on the bed by now, but Sam's own hurt was too fresh, too raw, even for this future version. "What are you sorry for?" He asked. 

Dean's breath hitched. "Everything. For treating you like shit last year. For tonight."

Sam tried not to wince, the thunk of the amulet hitting the trash can still echoing in his ears. All these years he'd wondered why his future brother didn't wear the amulet; now he knew. 

Dean closed his eyes. "And… And, for…"

It clicked for Sam all of a sudden. "For something that happens in the future?" He asked. 

Dean didn't reply. 

Sam continued. "I'm going to die soon, aren't I?" It felt odd to say the words, feeling the barest flicker of fear.

Dean's head snapped up, eyes wide as he stared at Sam in some horror. 

Sam tried to laugh; it sounded too harsh. "Relax. I worked it out when you came to me when I was twelve. Just never figured out how to ask you."

Dean frowned a little. "Twelve? What do you mean?" The frown deepened. "You said you saw me a few months ago…"

Sam realized something else. "This is your first time… Time travelling. To see me, I mean."

Dean bit his lip. "First time?"

Sam smiled wanly. "You've been popping up randomly my whole life, Dean. Once every few years, at most." For a minute, he wanted to tell Dean not to do it, to move on and find a way to be okay. But he knew it wouldn't stick. And seeing Dean right now, so broken and desperate, Sam couldn't find it in himself to say anything of the sort. 

"How long have you got?" He asked instead. 

Dean blinked owlishly. "Few hours."

Sam nodded. "Come on. Let's get some rest."

* * *

_"Cas, one more time, please. Please, I just... I need to see him."_

* * *

**Sioux Falls, South Dakota, 1995**

Sam stared down at the book in front of him, not really reading anything. For too long, he'd felt empty, alone, only half-alive with Dean missing on a hunt. He hadn't slept right since Dad had dropped him off at Bobby's. 

Finally, this morning, Dad had called saying that he'd found Dean. He'd be coming over to pick up Sam and then they'd both get Dean together. 

Sam didn't know whether to be angry or relieved. What the hell had Dean been thinking, jumping onto a hunt in the middle of a trip to a grocery store? He couldn't think to call Sam first, get some back up, or let him know at the very least? Where had he been all this time? Was he hurt? Was he okay? 

Had he really been lost or had he tried to run away, like… Like that time Sam had fled to Flagstaff? 

The knock on the door made him jump a little. Suddenly recalling that Bobby had left to meet someone, he walked to the door, hand steady on his gun. He didn't draw it though- most people, as he'd come to know, found the sight of a twelve year old with a gun horrifying. 

But when he opened the door, he froze. His breath felt punched out of him. 

Because the person in front of him was his brother- a version of his brother he'd only seen twice before. 

"Dean, what-?"

"Sammy."

His words trailed off. Dean looked horrible. Gone was the light-hearted, smiling person from before, replaced by someone with unkempt hair and scruff, red-rimmed eyes and shaking hands. 

Sam grabbed his hands and pulled him inside without thinking, dragging him to sit on the ratty old couch. "Dean," he called his name softly. "What's wrong?"

Dean just stared at him. "Sammy," he started. He shook his head. He reached out, grabbing Sam by his sweatshirt. "I… I just… Sam."

Sam didn't know what was wrong, had no idea what was happening. But Dean was sobbing through tightly pressed lips, like he was trying to stifle himself, and he was pulling Sam closer. 

Sam was too tall to fit into Dean's lap anymore, but this Dean was taller and he manhandled Sam closer like it was no trouble. Sam detested feeling like a kid, but at this third meeting, he had to wonder: was there another reason why this future iteration of his brother kept time travelling to see him? 

He couldn't quite bring himself to ask though. So he just tucked his face into Dean's chest and let himself be held, if that's what it took to make him feel better.

* * *

_"Dean, I don't think this is a good idea."_

_"Cas, please. I'm begging you here, man. Just for his birthday."_

* * *

**Stanford, California, 2004**

It was a surprise to open the door of his dorm room and find Dean standing there. An automatic smile spread across his face. 

"Somehow, I knew I'd see you today," he said. 

Dean looked nervous, fidgety. "Hi, Sammy," he greeted, voice shaking. "I, uh, I remembered we had a fight last time you spoke to me… Past-me. And I didn't want you to, ya know, spend a birthday alone, so… Happy birthday."

"Thanks." Sam peered at Dean, noticing the dark circles around his eyes. "How many times have you visited me, Dean?"

Dean shuffled his feet. "This is the third time."

Sam counted in his head. "Six times for me." He huffed to himself in some annoyance. "You haven't been to Redwood Falls, have you? 2001?"

He could see the instance it clicked for Dean- his eyes widened, mouth falling open. "No," he squeaked. "Am I supposed to?"

Sam just grabbed his hand, pulling him into a rough kiss. He resisted the urge to deepen it, knowing he might be risking something. 

Dean flinched, just like he had that first time back at Redwood Falls, with the brother of his own time. 

Sam eased back, gently nudging Dean's nose. "This is what you were afraid of, isn't it? That I'd come to Stanford and forget about you? That I'd stop feeling this way?"

Dean swallowed, his breath warm on his lips. "I… I…"

Sam laughed. "I'm taller than you now," he whispered. 

He'd been hoping for it, but the way Dean fell into him, crashing their lips together, arms wrapping around his neck tightly, sent Sam stumbling back into the bed, Dean landing neatly on top of him. 

"Well, that was fast," Sam laughed as they broke apart from each other. 

Dean looked down at him, forearms braced on either side of Sam's head. "It's only been four years for you," he said, voice hoarse. "It's been… So much longer for me."

Sam ran a hand through his short hair, leaning up to kiss him again. It was slower this time, sweeter. "Stay for a while," he mumbled. 

Dean hesitated for a moment, then relaxed into the kiss. "As long as I can."

* * *

_"Cas, I have to. He told me something and... I have to make it happen."_

* * *

**Redwood Falls, Minnesota, 2001**

The room felt stifling, even though it was just the two of them and one was asleep. But Dean's presence, even unconscious, was just too big, too unavoidable, and Sam just… Couldn't.

So, thankful that Dean was a heavy sleeper after drinking, Sam crept out of bed. His own drunkenness faded, he grabbed his jacket and walked out to their car, his breath misty in the cold air. 

His steps slowed when he spotted the figure leaning against the Impala, then quickened when he recognized it. 

"Why are you here tonight?" He demanded. 

Dean looked taken aback at his sharp tone and it made Sam feel guilty. It wasn't _this_ Dean's fault. Hell, it wasn't even _his_ Dean's fault. But rejection stung. And Dean, from whatever year he was, still looked too beautiful for his own good. 

"You told me too," Dean said. "In the future. You told me to come here." He looked around. "It's the right place and time, isn't it? Redwood Falls, 2001?"

Sam felt a lump rise in his throat as he nodded. What the hell was his own future self thinking? "Usually, you show up when I'm feeling lonely," he managed to say. "It's been six years since the last time."

Dean frowned. "What do you mean?"

Sam shrugged. "Yeah, thrice so far. Like back when you and Dad used to leave me behind on hunts."

"Huh." Dean looked thoughtful. "So… You feeling lonely tonight?"

Sam pursed his mouth. "You're from the future, Dean," he said flatly. "Don't tell me you don't know exactly what happened tonight."

There it was: the little flinch. The same flinch his own Dean had when Sam had kissed him. When he'd pushed him away, muttering, "We can't. You're just drunk, Sam. Forget about it."

Dean shifted uncomfortably, the snow crunching beneath his boots. "Look, Sammy," he sighed. "I can't… I was an idiot, okay?"

Sam blinked. "Pardon?"

Dean stared at him. "Fuck it," he swore. Then with two quick strides he was right in front of Sam, grabbing his face. 

Sam froze, barely daring to breathe. Dean's eyes shone in the darkness, his lashes long and snow-tipped. His lips were parted ever so slightly and… 

And they were brushing slowly against Sam's, gentle and oh-so-sweet. 

Sam could hardly move, not when they were breathing the same air, not when he could feel Dean's heat bleeding through all the layers between them. But he couldn't hold back the whimper when Dean's teeth nipped at his bottom lip. 

"I was so scared," Dean breathed out. 

Sam forced himself to pay attention.

"I was so scared when you kissed me, so terrified, because I always knew you'd…" He seemed to stop himself. 

Sam swallowed. "What?" He asked, proud that his voice was steady. 

Dean smiled. It was different than any smile Sam remembered receiving from him. "You'll find out soon enough," he promised and kissed him again.

* * *

_"This isn't right, Dean."_

_"Sam was a lonely kid, I'm only just finding out about this. He said I visited him those time, so now I have to. Come on, Cas."_

* * *

**Chadron, Nebraska, 1992**

Sam tried not to scowl as he sat on the steps in front of their motel room. The Impala had long since faded into the distance, but he couldn’t bring himself to move yet, too busy thinking up various curse words- not that he knew many- and throwing them at the imaginary Dad and Dean inside his head.

“You keep that face up, it’s gonna get stuck like that.”

Sam started, immediately scolding himself because how would he ever convince Dad he was old enough for hunts if he couldn’t keep his guard up? “Who are you?” He demanded of the stranger leaning against the door to the room.

The man was tall, built. He was dressed in flannel and leather… _Like hunters_ , Sam realized. And he was familiar too.

“Do I know you?” He asked.

The stranger smirked. “Guess I still missed one.” He looked amused at himself. “How further back?” He murmured to himself.

Sam blinked, taking in the sharp cut of his jaw, the green of his eyes. A distant memory of a table at Plucky’s, a broken crayon and a man who sat with him for three hours flashed through his mind. “You, you were, I met you when I was a kid. At Plucky’s. Your name’s Dean!”

Dean nodded. “Got it, I’ll remember that. And you’re still a kid, shortstack.”

Sam tried not to pout and focused on the important stuff. “What do you mean? You don’t remember me?”

Dean scratched his head. “Technically, I haven’t met you at that time yet. Next time, I’ll aim for a Plucky’s, when you were five, or something, maybe.”

Sam shook his head, tried to make sense of things. Nothing the man said added up to anything, except maybe… “Are you a time traveller?”

Dean grinned at him. “Geek.”

“Shut up,” Sam grumbled. “So who are you? Why’d you come and visit me?”

Something in the man’s eyes went dark and sad. “Maybe I just…” He hesitated. “Maybe I realized how lonely you felt sometimes and I thought I’d try to make it a little better.”

Sam nodded slowly. “Why?” He asked. “Do you know me in the future?”

Dean tilted his head at him. “Didn’t we- didn’t anyone teach you not to talk to strangers?”

Sam shrugged. “I’ve also been told not to talk to imaginary people, but I do a lot of that.” He didn’t add that something about Dean made him feel… Safe. Like they’d known each other for years. “Don’t change the subject.”

Dean laughed a little. “I’m your brother, Sammy,” he said softly.

Sam gaped at him. A small part of him rebelled, because he already had one brother, who happened to be awesome even if Sam would never tell him that and he was only 13 years old, not grown up, and, and… 

“Oh,” was all he said. Because, really, who else would time travel just to make sure Sam didn’t get too lonely?

Dean- his brother- looked relieved. “Oh,” he mimicked.

"So… Wait, where's your amulet?"

Dean winced, just a little. "I… Left it behind."

Sam leaned back on his elbows, letting the lie go. Dean did that sometimes- lied because he thought the truth would hurt Sam. “You left fast last time. How long you gonna stay now?”

Dean seemed to think about it, nose scrunching up. “Until tomorrow.”

Sam grinned back. "Hey, what am I like in the future?"

Dean pretended to think hard. "Taller. Stronger. Still a nerd though." The last part was said with a wink. 

Sam shoved him lightly, trying not to laugh. 

* * *

_"Can't change the timeline, right, Cas? According to Sam, this stuff has already happened."_

* * *

**Larimer County, Colorado, 1988**

Sam stared down at the piece of paper he was drawing on. It was nearly finished. He needed a new paper. He would have to get up and ask. But then he’d see a Plucky and he really didn’t want to. He could hear them all laughing and that was bad enough.

The red crayon broke. Sam sighed. Now he had to ask for a crayon too.

“What’s the matter, kid?”

Sam didn’t like talking to Plucky, but Miss Honey said it was rude to ignore people. So he looked up. He blinked. This was not Plucky. This was a grownup. An adult man, like Daddy, and he was smiling. Now he was kneeling down. He had really pretty eyes.

“Come on, tell me,” he said. “I won’t bite.”

Sam looked down. “My crayon broke,” he said quietly. “I need a new red. And more paper.”

“Uh-huh.” The man nodded, like he understood. “What’s your name?”

Sam thought about it for a second. The nice lady who worked here had asked him his name too. This man didn’t look like he worked here. But then why would he be here? “I’m Sam,” he said.

“Can I call you Sammy?”

Sam shook his head. “Only Daddy and Dean call me that.”

The man smiled bigger, looking really happy. “Well, my name is Dean too. Is that okay?”

Sam made a face. This man didn’t really look like Dean, except his eyes were green. “I guess. _My_ Dean, my brother isn’t here right now. You can be Dean too.”

Adult Dean tilted his face to the side. “Where is your brother?”

Sam shrugged, back to coloring. He had to at least finish it. “Playing games at the arcade. He says only big boys are allowed to go there.”

Dean laughed a little. “Well, I’m sure he’ll be back soon.” He stood up. “How about I keep you company till then? I’ll bring your red crayons and more paper, then I can watch you colour. Alright, Sammy?”

Sam nodded, happy to have company. He finished his drawing and started on another, telling Dean about his big brother and their car-home and Kevin in his class who kept stealing his pencils.

When he heard his name called, he looked up. “My brother’s here,” he told the big man. “You should meet him. You’ll like him.”

He smiled.

Sam stood and turned around, waving a hand to Dean. His brother came up to him. “Ready to go?”

“You gotta meet my friend, he’s Dean too.” Sam turned back to the little table, excited, but… There was no one there.

Dean laughed. “Are you talking about your imaginary friend again?” He asked, but it sounded like he was teasing.

Sam bit his lips, unsure and a little upset. “He was here. He was an adult. His name was Dean.”

Dean just shook his head. “Well, maybe he left to do grownup work. Come on now, Dad's gonna be home soon.” He picked up Sam’s drawing. “That’s a lotta green in one picture, Sammy.”

Sam crossed his arms. “I like green.”

* * *

_"Dean, this obsession isn't healthy."_

_"Damn it, Cas, you think I don't know that?"_

* * *

**Bethany, Oklahoma, 2002**

Somehow, Sam found it in himself to leave the motel. It wasn't just because he couldn't stomach the sight of Dean's pale skin torn open by claws, his breath steady but so shallow, his eyes stubbornly closed. Dad kept reassuring that he'd be fine and Sam had to believe him because if he didn't… 

But it was also because Sam was realizing that he couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't live like this, always on edge, always scared of losing the one person he… But how could he leave? How could he when he knew it would break Dean? 

So, when Dad told him to take a walk and get some stuff from the nearest store, Sam took the reprieve gratefully. 

But as he zombie-strolled through the aisles, dead silent in the middle of the night, he was taken off guard by the muffled curse behind him, "Oh, fuck, shit-" accompanied by the sound of falling cans. 

Sam whipped around on a heel, tense and ready for a fight even though his mind had jumped ahead and recognized the voice. 

Staring at the man currently stumbling over the littered cans, Sam tried to ignore his racing heart. "Very smooth," he commented. 

Dean grinned at him, calling out a "Sorry" to a disgruntled employee. "Heya, Sammy," he greeted, voice as smooth as whiskey and looking as healthy as ever. 

Sam couldn't quite muster up a smile. 

Dean seemed to sense something was wrong. "What is it?" He asked. 

Sam cocked his head. "You don't know?"

Dean shrugged. "This is the year you- I just picked a random date. Why, what happened?"

Sam rubbed his eyes, feeling exhausted. "Black dog. You're laid up back at the room, unconscious. Dad says you're fine, but…" He swallowed with some difficulty. "You've lost a lot of blood."

Dean inhaled sharply. "I totally forgot about that," he muttered. He leaned in a little closer, cradling Sam's face. 

Sam met his gaze nervously; it was easy since they were the same height now. He'd figured out that Dean wasn't travelling in a linear way, chronologically, so while he still hadn't quite worked up the courage to ask why Dean was time traveling _(oh, he had his guesses, alright)_ , he also couldn't figure out a way to ask, "Hey, have you already kissed me?"

Luckily, Dean took the matter out of his hands by pecking him on the lips, short and sweet. "I'm gonna be fine," he assured. 

Sam whined a little at the too short kiss. 

Dean chuckled. "We're in public, Sammy" he reminded, stepping away. "Don't wanna be arrested. It's only 2002."

Sam held his gaze, making a split second decision. "I have an acceptance letter from Stanford."

The outburst took Dean a second to register. For several heartbeats, he stayed quiet, just watching Sam with sharp eyes. Then he sighed, lips twitching into a sad attempt at a smile. "You really hated this life, didn't you?" He sounded like he was speaking to himself. 

Sam looked away. "I can't…" He cleared his throat. "I can't stick around, in lo-" He took a deep breath and met Dean's gaze again, head-on. "In love with you, and watch you get hurt. I've done it more times than I ever wanted to, and I can't anymore. I don't want this life, Dean, I need to get out, it's gonna kill me if I stay, or it's gonna kill you and that'll kill me anyway and-"

Dean clapped a hand over his mouth, muffling him. He looked somewhere between amused, fond, heartbroken and patient. "I know, Sammy," he said softly. "I get it."

Sam grasped Dean's wrist, pulling it away. "I come back though, don't I?" He asked. "I'm hunting with you again in the future."

Dean didn't answer that. "Dad's gonna say some stuff. So will I. So will you. None of it will mean shit, okay?"

Sam sighed and nodded. "Walk me to the motel?"

Dean nodded.

* * *

_"Can't I make things right, Cas?"_

_"You said it yourself. We can't change what's happened."_

_"He needed someone there, Cas, that night Lucifer was freed. He needed me there that night."_

* * *

**Ilchester, Maryland, 2009**

Sam saw him from a distance, waiting for him on top of the small hill. 

"Hey, Ruby," he said softly. "Why don't you wait here for a second? I'll be back in a minute."

Ruby frowned, following his gaze. "Who is that?" She asked. 

Sam didn't tell her that that body was more familiar to him than his own, that he would recognize that bow-legged stance anywhere. Instead, he ignored her, jogging up to Dean. 

Dean caught him in an embrace easily. But before Sam could even begin to sink into it, Dean was holding him at arm's length. 

A shiver of fear went up his spine. "Dean…" Would this brother of his turn him away too? Call him a monster, punch him? Sam didn't have it in him to defend himself anymore. "Dean, I-"

But Dean looked harried. "Sam, you gotta listen to me, I don't have time, listen, you need to st-"

There was a flash of light, a flapping sound, and Dean was gone. Winked out of existence, leaving Sam standing alone, ready to tear his own hair out and scream. 

What had Dean been about to tell him? Why hadn't he been able to? Had something happened to him? What did Sam need to do? 

Every inch of him wanted to find a way to help Dean. But he looked back to where he'd left the car, where Ruby was still waiting for him. 

Sam swallowed. He had work to do.

* * *

_"Cas, what the fuck?!"_

_"I warned you, Dean. Do not try to change things or I will be forced to erase Sam's memories."_

_"Damn it, Cas, I... Okay, fine. The day before you pulled me out of Hell. He needed me then too. Come on, please, I promise I won't try anything funny."_

* * *

**Pontiac, Illinois, 2008**

Sam didn't know how long he sat in the car, staring up at the motel where Ruby was waiting for him. Long enough for a certain someone to knock on his window. 

Sam felt his jaw drop at the ever familiar face.

Dean smiled, but there was something incredibly sad about it. He circled around, sliding into the shotgun seat. 

"Heya, Sammy." He hesitated for a second, then leered. "Redwood Falls happened, by the way."

A strangled sob escaped Sam. He leaned across the seat, tugging Dean closer.

Dean ran his hand through Sam's hair, hugging him. "It's okay. It's okay, Sammy, I'm here, it's okay."

Sam shook his head. "It's been four months," he sobbed. "I couldn't… I couldn't… I'm so sorry."

He could feel Dean kiss the top of his head. "Don't worry about it. I'll be fine."

"When?"

Dean pushed him away just enough for their eyes to meet. "Soon," he promised. 

Sam couldn't help the flicker of his eyes towards the motel. "You know what's happening, don't you?" He asked, in a small voice. "You know what I'm doing here?"

"And _who_ you're doing," Dean said softly. There was a twitch in his nose, Dean's tell of hiding something. 

"Dean?" Sam's own voice shook. "Am I… Am I doing the right thing?"

Dean blinked hard, eyes watery as he looked out the windscreen. "I can't tell you anything," he said tightly. "I already tried and Ca… It didn't end good."

Sam groaned pathetically. "I don't want to do this without you," he begged. 

Dean tilted his face up, kissed him. Sam whimpered into it, clutching at Dean like a lifeline. 

He wasn't sure how long it lasted. He didn't really care.

* * *

_"Dean..."_

_"I know, okay? I know, just... One last time. Please, man."_

* * *

**Lovelock, Nevada, 2010**

Leaning against the car, Sam looked up at the stars. He was going to be here for a while, he knew. Dean had brought a girl back to their room _("World's ending, Sam, I'd like to get laid one last time,")_ so, he'd bestowed the car unto him for the night. 

Sam couldn't begrudge him that. Of course, he had a plan, but… Well, he was still planning on the best way to suggest it to Dean. After Bobby's reaction, he wasn't looking forward to it. 

In any case, he wasn't prepared for Dean appearing in his peripheral vision. 

"I'm guessing there's no point in telling you to forget your stupid plan," he said in a flat voice. 

Sam stuttered. "How do you…?" The answer came to him in the next second. "Oh. Hi, Dean."

Dean looked good, all things considered. He hopped up on the hood, body twisted to face Sam. "Don't do it."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "How many times have you visited me?"

"This is the tenth time," Dean muttered. 

Sam did his own count. "Well, hey," he laughed lightly. "It's my tenth time too."

"Sam…"

"Do I do it?" Sam asked. "Am I able to… Do I beat him?"

Dean took a long breath, looking like he wanted to lie. "Yeah. Yeah, Sammy, you do."

Sam gave him a half-smile. "Well, then, I've got to. You know that."

Dean closed his eyes, shaking his head. 

Sam leaned into him, holding him a sideways embrace. "You know you can't do this anymore," he said gently. "It's not healthy, Dean. You need to move on."

"Don't ask that of me," Dean protested through grit teeth. 

Sam turned his face towards himself, kissing him briefly. "You can't be alone. You have to get out. Go to Lisa. And Ben."

Dean laughed harshly. "Yeah, you already said that to me before jumping into the damn Cage."

Sam shrugged. "Because I'm right. Dean, please. You have to… You have to try, at least."

Dean pressed his lips tightly. "I should never have agreed," he muttered. 

"Well, I'm sure I'll have a hard time tomorrow anyway," Sam assured him. 

Dean looked at him then, somber and sorrowful. "What if I can't?"

Sam didn't answer immediately. "Just try," he pleaded. "For me. Please."

Dean looked away again and Sam knew he'd won. 

"And even if you can't," Sam whispered. "I'll still love you anyway."

Dean swallowed, keeping his eyes on the stars above them. But he replied, "Yeah. Me too, Sammy."

* * *

_"Dean, I'm sorry. But I can't..."_

_"Yeah, I know. I know, Cas. I've already said goodbye."_

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: kassyscarlett


End file.
